PhD Spotlight: Beyond Insecure Attachment

As some of you would know, I have been working on my PhD alongside my clinical practice. It has been a challenging but meaningful journey - one that has grown out of years of listening to people’s stories, walking with them through pain and noticing a recurring theme: Our relationships shape us more than we often realise.

At the heart of my research is something called attachment. Simply put, attachment is the way we connect with others, how safe, supported and emotionally secure we feel in our close relationships. These patterns start in childhood but continue to shape our adult lives: How we give and receive love, how we deal with conflict and even how we regulate our emotions.

Much of the psychological research to date has focused on insecure attachment, patterns like fear of abandonment, difficulty trusting or withdrawing emotionally when things get tough. These are important to understand, especially because they show up often in therapy and can deeply affect mental health and relationships.

But there is another side to the story that has not received as much attention: Secure attachment.

Secure attachment is more than just “not being insecure.” It is a deep, embodied sense of being safe, worthy and emotionally connected. People with secure attachment tend to approach relationships with openness, confidence and resilience. They can ask for help when they need it, offer support without feeling overwhelmed and regulate their emotions in ways that nurture both themselves and others. In my clinical work, I have seen how transformative this kind of emotional security can be.

Currently, the dominant model in adult attachment research focuses on two main patterns: Anxiety and avoidance. People high in anxiety often worry about being rejected or unloved, while those high in avoidance tend to pull away from closeness and prefer emotional distance. If someone scores low on both, they are typically considered securely attached. This model has been incredibly useful and widely used in psychology but it mostly defines security as the absence of problems. This is where my research comes in.

My project takes a closer look at whether secure attachment might be something more, something distinct. Rather than seeing security as simply the lack of anxiety or avoidance, I am exploring whether it has its own unique features and strengths that deserve to be recognised in their own right.

While we have a strong theoretical understanding of what secure attachment looks like, it has not yet been clearly verified through empirical research. My goal is to help bridge that gap, by exploring whether the qualities of secure attachment can be identified as a distinct pattern in adults—not just defined by the absence of insecurity.

It is also important to remember that attachment is not fixed. Although our early relationships lay the foundation, secure attachment can continue to develop and strengthen over time, especially through safe, supportive connections with others. Partners, close friends, mentors, therapists and even faith communities can all become sources of emotional and relational safety. In this way, secure attachment is not just a reflection of the past, but a living, growing part of how we relate in the present. That gives us real hope, not only for healing, but also for building healthier, more secure relationships at any stage of life.

Ultimately, I hope this research will help therapists and psychologists, including myself, better assess and promote the kind of emotional security that helps people thrive. More than that, I hope it affirms something many of us already feel: that being securely attached is not just the absence of struggle. It is a powerful strength in itself.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey, my colleagues, clients, supervisees, friends, and family. I look forward to sharing more as the research continues to unfold.

Disclaimer: The material on this blog is not to be used by any commercial or personal entity without the expressed written consent of the blog's author. The article above is an opinion of an individual clinician and should not be taken as full clinical advice. The statements on this blog are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any mental health or mental illnesses. Always consult your doctor for medical advice or seek professional therapy.